There’s a debate raging on Reddit’s AITA forum about a MIL’s behavior towards her grandkids and people are pretty divided. A dad took to the platform to share his side of things. After his wife gave birth, the couple asked his parents-in-law if they would be open to babysitting one day a week.
“They immediately said they are too busy with jobs, taking care of [their] elderly parents, etc,” he wrote. “And they have 3 kids so they said that means if they are going to babysit the grandchild of kid #1, they also have to do this for kids #2 and #3. OK, fine. No problem. Your choice. So that left us with 2 days of daycare and 1 day at my parents.”
Now, his sister-in-law is pregnant and posed the same question to the mother-in-law. She immediately said yes which made the OP pretty mad. His wife doesn’t want to bring up the subject with her mom but this Reddit user is still stuck on the idea that she would choose babysitting one child over the other.
“This week we had the birthday of my MIL with the whole family,” he said. “She was telling an aunt about how she can’t wait to babysit the kid of my SIL and I completely lost it. I was fuming she favoritized 1 grandchild over another and she almost missed a complete first year of our daughter. My wife was mad at me for snapping at my MIL and ruining her birthday. So Reddit, AITA?”
Reddit couldn’t quite agree on this one. Some felt that it was unfair of the MIL to babysit one child and not the other. “I’m a firm believer of treating your children equally, so if you’re going to do something for 1 you should do it for the other,” a person noted. “Also the way she went on about how excited she is about babysitting SIL’s baby, I personally find that really distasteful, it’s just rubbing salt in the wound.”
Others felt that — because time passed between the two births — it’s possible the MIL’s situation had changed and she has more flexibility in her schedule. Therefore, yes, he’s being TA. Some said it didn’t matter what the reason was, she was entitled to her decision regardless.
“There could be a million reasons why they said no to the OP and yes to SIL,” a user wrote. “Maybe the OP had more rules or expectations of MIL. Maybe SIL can’t afford daycare. Maybe MIL wasn’t ready to be a hands on grandparent a year ago and is now. Maybe MIL didn’t want to have the responsibility of a child and elderly parents in a pandemic. We won’t know, because the OP blew up at a birthday party instead of asking.”
What do you think? Who is being unfair here?
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